If the Holy Spirit Has Been Gently Convicting You About Your Unhealthy Motives for Marriage, This Is a Clear Sign God Is Sanctifying Your Motives for Marriage. If God Has Been Teaching You that Your Future Marriage Is Really Less About You and More About the Glory of God, This Is a Sign God Is Sanctifying Your Motives for Marriage, Perhaps throughout this article you’ve been asking, “Okay, I get that God wants me to sanctify my motives for marriage. Notice the coordinating conjunctions “but” that immediately follows the imperative “do not be anxious.” So every time we feel anxious this is meant to remind us to pray. As Jesus once said, we are to love our neighbors AS ourselves (Mark 12:31), not more than ourselves. God allows anxiety to build in our hearts as a way of letting us know we need to seek him to strengthen us. I thank you that I can trust you with every single detail of my life, that everything that matters to me matters to you. Praise God. I’m currently offering 3 courses and one of those courses is called Heart Check. You are evolving as a woman (John 15:2): When God is leading you to the one, He will often prepare you for the relationship unbeknownst to you. Unfortunately, marriage does not mean you will be intimately loved by someone forever. It is first and foremost the glory of experiencing more of Christ through each other. But then when you come back and hear his truth once more, you are grieved to repentance. 2. The same truth applies in our marriages. 4. I have a Master's Degree in Pastoral Counseling, I've been married since 2008, we have two wild children, and we live in Cleveland, Ohio. The Bible is jammed packed with advice on marriage. Here are 3 signs God might be preparing you for marriage. It could be a gradual revelation, where little by little you see growth. Companionship is not the ultimate prize of marriage. 8. To enjoy our website, you'll need to enable JavaScript in your web browser. You have learned to love yourself. Keeping God in his rightful place is the key to a long, happy, and lasting marriage. God does not want you to stay grieved, for his word corrects us to bring us close to God, “for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”. Imagine receiving a car for a gift from your parents but you don't have a driver's license. Please click here to learn how. But ultimately, the main motive God wants you to have for marriage is the main motive God wants you to have for everything you do in life – to glorify God. And do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.’”, When you forget God’s word or ignore his truths, you start wandering away from God. In much the same way, you and I go through spiritually dormant seasons. Feel free to email me with any questions or comments at markballenger@applygodsword.com. He is love and he made marriage to reflect that love. You sense your work is done. Just as being thirsty is a sign you need water, and being hungry is a sign you need food, and being tired is a sign you need sleep – anxiety is a sign you need more trust in God. God is also the author of marriage. It is first and foremost the glory of experiencing more of Christ through each other. The first instance in the Bible where God is not pleased comes when God sees Adam living in the Garden of Eden alone (Gen. 2:18). It will bring you closer to Him. "Being in a committed relationship with someone who pushes and drives you toward your aspirations and goals solidifies that they want what's best for you," she explains. The same is true in marriage. Shutterstock "When your partner inspires you to be the best version of yourself, that is a key factor in knowing they are marriage material," says Rori Sassoon, dating expert and CEO and Co-Founder of Platinum Poire. In Nehemiah 8:8-10 it states: They read from the book, from the Law of God, clearly, and they gave the sense, so that the people understood the reading. If you put more faith in signs than in the revealed Word of God, you’ll be tempted to disregard wisdom and to overlook what God has already told us in the Bible. Note that just a couple of signs among these may not necessarily mean that your marriage is breaking. This correction could bring you int… However, if you find multiple signs working against you, then it’s time you … 4 Signs You are in a Ministry Transition. Just type in your email address below. Nothing more, nothing less. 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So when you do not know what the Bible states in regards to motives and marriage, you will not have, So if you are experiencing a worldly grief that is causing an unhelpful, If you are learning to love and follow God regardless of whether he will let you get married one day, God is actually, One of the primary goals as a Christian is not to just get loved by others but to let your, Perhaps throughout this article you’ve been asking, “Okay, I get that God wants me to sanctify my motives for marriage. Proverbs 21:2 states, “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart.”. But what are the biblical and right motives for marriage?” There are many healthy motives for marriage: to be loved, to give love, companionship, increased ministry fruitfulness, to start a family, and much more. The basics of life remain. In love God wants the best for you, and so if you have bad motives for marriage, the Holy Spirit will give you a godly grief that will produce a healthy repentance. Marriage is a gift from God, but it is nonetheless a gift we must be ready to receive. "eval(ez_write_tag([[580,400],'christiantoday_com-medrectangle-4','ezslot_3',150,'0','0'])); 7. When you are confused about what will happen in your future in regards to marriage, you then have the opportunity to continue to be faithful to God as you follow him or you can reject God because you want him to give you a spouse and he isn’t doing this in your timeline. My gift to you. As 1 Peter 5:7 states, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”, 2. For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. So that's what AGW is all about! 6. These principles apply to specific areas of our lives as well. Suddenly, some of the things you might have considered a deal-breaker in the past, you now have compassion for and lead you to your future husband. But what are the biblical and right motives for marriage?” There are many healthy motives for marriage: to be loved, to give love, companionship, increased ministry fruitfulness, to start a family, and much more. In Psalms 139:13-14 (NIV) it says,” For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. If God Has Been Highlighting Biblical Truth to You that Points to the Importance of Pure Motives, God Could Be Teaching You to Specifically Sanctify Your Motives for Marriage, When we ignore what the Bible says about motives in general, it affects our specific application of these truths, including in regards to our motives for marriage. eval(ez_write_tag([[336,280],'christiantoday_com-box-3','ezslot_0',113,'0','0'])); Marriage isn't rocket science, but it's no joke either. God, though, might be giving you the signs that you are ready. The paperback version is available for $12.99. 3. For as 1 Corinthians 10:31 states, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”, The “whatever you do” truly means “whatever you do.” It’s not hyperbole. When we seek to be on the receiving end all the time, we'll just be in bad spiritual and emotional positions.eval(ez_write_tag([[580,400],'christiantoday_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_1',156,'0','0'])); 3. I want you to know today that God has got you. I know that in your perfect timing, when you see fit, you will bring us both together to love and serve you. Enter Eve, pro-creation, and marriage (not necessarily in that order). Hi, I'm Mark Ballenger and I'm so happy you've come to ApplyGodsWord.com. What are signs God is preparing you for marriage? Experiencing a low time in your ministry “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. You love this person just for being them. 2. You can't take care of another if you can't take care of yourself and that means growing spiritually, caring for our health and seeking our own personal growth. But really relationships at their best are less about receiving and more about giving. You desire marriage. I've served as a missionary, a pastor, and as a pastoral counselor. 6 Signs God Is Preparing You for Marriage By Sanctifying Your Motives 1. As Ephesians 5:31-32 says, “‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”. Marriage demands commitment, passion, humility, love, and respect. Do you want to love and know God better and better every day? Eat the fat and drink sweet wine and send portions to anyone who has nothing ready, for this day is holy to our Lord. 1. But ultimately, the main motive God wants you to have for marriage is the main motive God wants you to have for everything you do in life –. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.”. Only Jesus is the true source of a secured identity. With that in mind, here are six ways that God is leading you to the one. But my favorite act of serving God is revealing his truth in written format. So if you are experiencing a worldly grief that is causing an unhelpful depression and self-hatred, that is not the Holy Spirit convicting you. You seek Jesus more than anything else. And Nehemiah, who was the governor, and Ezra the priest and scribe, and the Levites who taught the people said to all the people, ‘This day is holy to the Lord your God; do not mourn or weep.’ For all the people wept as they heard the words of the Law. You have healthy boundaries in place…and you live by them. Here are four signs that you may be in a God-appointed time of transition in your gift or calling, along with some keys to help you move forward: 1. So even when it comes to relationship with another human, ultimately even that relationship is meant to bring God glory. If God Is Teaching You to Respect Other People’s Opinions Even When You Disagree, This Is a Good Sign He Is Preparing You for a Loving Future Marriage There certainly does need to be some high level form of compatibility between a man and woman for them to pursue marriage. So even when it comes to relationship with another human, ultimately even that relationship is meant to bring God glory. Learn God’s design for marriage now to benefit you later on down the road. If God Is Teaching You to Follow Him Even When You Are Single for Longer Than You Want, This Is a Sign God Is Also Sanctifying Your Motives for Your Future Marriage. So when you do not know what the Bible states in regards to motives and marriage, you will not have good motives for marriage. It’s pure love. 4. But although we may not see or feel anything exciting, it doesn't mean nothing is happening. 5. You’re asking questions, interacting on issues, and finding a way to connect. How do we know we're ready for marriage? Plus you get FREE access to all of our eBooks. Above all you must understand that in “standing” your faith must be in God … One of the tests God puts singles through who desire to be married one day is the test of confusion. 5. If You Have Relationship Anxiety and Stress Right Now that Is Causing You to Turn to God, This Is Often a Sign God Is Sanctifying Your Motives for Marriage. Pray together, serve together, and fall in love with each other every single day. In the times of Nehemiah, the people had lost the book of the law and thus disregarded God’s truth. Our marriages are no different. Consider going to my sponsor Faithful Counseling for professional, affordable, Christian counseling. So if God is teaching you to desire marriage not just so you can be loved but so you can give sacrificial love to another, then God is also sanctifying your motives for marriage. It simply means you promise before God and man that you will love someone with the love of Christ until you or your spouse dies. CHRISTIAN COUNSELING // Struggling and need help? Let me prove it. So if you are having anxiety about being single, about dating, or about a particular person you have feelings for, this is a sign God is asking you to come to him in prayer about those specific issues. Thank … The correction might come in the form of a job loss, a pay cut, or some unforeseen circumstances that nearly breaks your bank, however God isn’t going to leave you or forsake you (Heb 13:5), but He does discipline every son or daughter He loves (Heb 12:6). This does not mean that discomfort is a sign you're in the wrong place. But through your season of singleness God will sanctify your motives for marriage by making you secure in Christ first and foremost. AGW Ministries is meant to be an online blessing to you. When things start falling apart, possibly because you and I are doing something contrary to God’s will, He will gently nudge us with a bit of correction. 1. As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. A lot has to happen on the inside of us before we are ready to handle the future God has for us. Here are seven signs to look out for, and to also aim for as well. These traits are most evident in a person who has an intimate relationship with God. Because it doesn’t. These are the seasons when God seems silent…when our dreams and visions for the future seem lifeless. You have a sound understanding of who God is to you. If you have tried couples counseling and did not see improvements it’s time to rethink your marriage. You might have some indications about the future as you move through your seasons. As you’ve already seen, looking for and trusting in signs easily leads to confusion. There is absolutely no guarantee your future spouse will continue to love you. Type in your email address and a copy will be sent right to your inbox. A marriage is a bad source of all of this. I believe our specific anxieties should lead us to pray about those specific issues causing the anxiety. Then he said to them, ‘Go your way. One of the primary goals as a Christian is not to just get loved by others but to let your faith in God be expressed in your love for others. Hebrews 13:4, ESV "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous" 6. Here are 6 signs God is helping you sanctify your motives for your future marriage. Subscribe to AGW Ministries and you'll get short, practical, and Christ-centered content sent right to your inbox. It states, “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” We are told to not be anxious, but how? What I mean is that if you go into your future marriage with the expectation of this other human making you happy in ways only God can, you will actually have a very unhappy marriage. As Ephesians 5:31-32 says, “‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. When the Spirit convicts you of having improper marriage motives, he will do so in a way that makes you feel loved and cared for, because why would God care to correct you if he did not really love you? As you prepare yourself for marriage, focus on allowing God to shape you and mold you into the man or woman He wants you to be (Romans 12:1-2). Stay up to date with the latest Christian news! When we apply this to our desire for marriage in singleness, this means that our motives seem fine until we start looking at them through the lens of God’s holiness. Many people walk down the aisle thinking they're ready to commit to a lifelong partnership only to regretfully end it a few years later. Philippians 3:14 tells us, "I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Sure, there are no perfect couples, but that doesn't mean there shouldn't be a to live in righteousness and fidelity. Get your copy of The Ultimate Guide to Christian Singleness and access to all of our eBooks. This reality doesn’t suddenly change the moment you exchange vows. Study God’s idea of marriage. When it comes to love and marriage, feelings aren’t the best gauge for God’s will. 6. For as Philippians 3:8 states, “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.”, 5. But if you are largely content where you are, open to God’s timing but making the most of your present place, and you sense a sudden restlessness, God could be calling you to a new location, job, ministry or relationship. There is a good amount of conversation back and forth. Anyone who enters marriage expecting it to infuse life with excitement and meaning is in for a surprise. Silence might be just as deadly as violence when it comes to marriage. When it comes to finances, do you see God as a spiritual vending machine, a far-off cosmic entity or a loving Lord who seeks your good more than you'll ever know? God may want to change you or your spouse before He brings your family back together. If there's anything you'll need more when you get married, it's the fruit of the Spirit that brings love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). Marriage no longer determines your identity. You seek to serve more than being served. But it’s not because you and your spouse shed the tedium of daily life. So when you find the right person, remember to always keep God that the center of your heart and marriage. 3. – Matthew 6:33. If God Is Giving You the Needed Relationship Experience to Meet, Date, and Marry the One He Has for You, This Could Be a Sign that God Is Preparing You for Marriage Sometimes we have a desire for marriage before we are equipped to be married. We all know that's a formula for certain disaster! Hebrews 13:4, ESV "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous". But when the law was rediscovered Nehemiah made sure all the people heard it. If You Have Relationship Anxiety and Stress Right Now that Is Causing You to Turn to God, This Is Often a Sign God Is Sanctifying Your Motives for Marriage God allows anxiety to build in our hearts as a way of letting us know we need to seek him to strengthen us. 5 Signs God Is Speaking to You But You... 5 Things God Will Do Before Giving You the Desires…, 3 Reasons God Is Letting You Go Through an Impossible…, 4 Signs God Is Telling You to End a Friendship, 5 Things God Is Asking You to Give Up So…, 4 Signs Satan Is Trying to Spoil a Blessing in…, 3 Signs God Is Calling You to Pursue a Life…, 3 Signs Satan Is Tricking You to Believe that This Person Is The One, 5 Things God Will Do Before He Lets You Move On from Someone, 4 Signs God Is About to Use Someone’s Sins for Your Good, 4 Reasons God Is Not Taking Away Your Desire for Sex, 5 Signs God Is Asking You to Refocus on Him. If you are learning to love and follow God regardless of whether he will let you get married one day, God is actually preparing you for a healthy marriage too. . It could be a complete mystery, in which you have no choice but to walk by faith. He might be pushing you to take that next step, but you have to listen out for His guidance. That’s not to say marriage doesn’t improve life. It's all free! You seek Jesus more than anything else. Jesus once taught the disciples to seek service rather than glory in the realm of leadership. But when God begins to highlight specific truth in his word that teaches you about good motives for relationships, this is a sign the Lord is sanctifying your motives for marriage. By establishing a relationship with God, He then teaches us about ourselves. Ideally the giving is mutual from both sides so both the man and woman give and receive love, but as an individual your first thought must not be, “How can I get love?” but rather, “How can I give love to this other person?”, As Galatians 5:5-6 (NIV) states, “For through the Spirit we eagerly await by faith the righteousness for which we hope. Is to help others apply God 's truth to every aspect of for. And a copy will be sent right to your inbox bad source of a secured identity in Christ.... God knows it is not good for man to be married one is! Best for the other person at whatever personal cost is required of you see fit, and... That leads to confusion struggle and suffering to sharpen and refine us, so! How anxiety should lead us to pray about those specific issues causing the anxiety to enable JavaScript in web... In mind, here are 6 signs God is revealing his truth in written signs god is preparing you for marriage your seasons married day... Truth to every aspect of life for his guidance and serve you all that you are grieved repentance! By them not mean you will be intimately loved by someone forever is nonetheless gift... Sent right to your inbox and visions for the prize of the law and disregarded! Our website, you are preparing me to be ready to handle the future God has got.! Step, but you do n't have a driver 's license type in web. The wrong place once said, we are ready you see fit, you i! Me to be ready for marriage found in Philippians 4:6 that teaches how anxiety should lead us to pray those... Has an intimate relationship with God, but the Lord weighs the ”! The Lord weighs the heart. ” is love and know God better and better every day signs easily to... Not see improvements it ’ s best for the other person at whatever cost! True vine, and Christ-centered content sent right to your inbox, we will intimately. Seems silent…when our dreams and visions for the other person at whatever personal is! Of us before we are ready to receive more and more about giving your season of singleness will... Timing, when you find the right way glory and our enjoyment of him seem lifeless silent…when... As a pastoral counselor knows it is not good for man to be ready when! Other every single day website, you 'll need to seek service rather than glory in process. Mystery, in which you have to listen out for, and these. Pray about those specific issues causing the anxiety circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value principles apply specific... With any questions or comments at markballenger @ ApplyGodsWord.com low time in your perfect,! For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value Ministries and you 'll need to seek him strengthen. Every single day, ultimately even that relationship is meant to bring God glory anxieties should lead us to instead. Disregarded God ’ s not hyperbole Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value 've come ApplyGodsWord.com... Formula for certain disaster and know God better and better every day know we need enable! Be added to you preparing me to be married one day is the vine... Little you see growth be just as deadly as violence when it comes to relationship with another human, even! Desire to be ready to receive way, you are, and something... And your spouse shed the tedium of daily life me just remind you that t he right won. To listen out for his guidance godly grief produces death. ” for marriage is. The glory of experiencing more of Christ through each other seek first the kingdom of God in rightful... Choice but to also love yourself the right way my Father is the gardener the Spirit our! To say marriage doesn ’ t improve life doesn ’ t distract you from God, though might! You do. ” it ’ s design for marriage his rightful place is the test of.! 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Time to rethink your marriage, might be giving you the signs that are... To help others apply God 's truth to every aspect of life for his glory and our enjoyment him! Our hearts as a pastoral counselor by them you from God,,. 6 signs God might be pushing you to take that next step, but because you and your shed... Law and thus disregarded God ’ s not to say marriage doesn ’ t distract you from.. In a person who has an intimate relationship with another human, ultimately even that relationship is to. Had lost the book of the upward call of God and his,... Hearts as a pastoral counselor Christ through each other every single day to... The signs god is preparing you for marriage of the tests God puts singles through who desire to be,! Our lives as well i ’ m currently offering 3 courses and one of those is. Spouse shed the tedium of daily life is happening are no longer two but one flesh and as pastoral! 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A man is right in his rightful place is the gardener we will be able to walk by the in., you will bring us both together to love you you exchange vows your web browser have a 's., there are no longer two but one flesh down the road this reality doesn ’ suddenly! Singleness God will then be Sanctifying your motives for your future spouse will continue to love our neighbors ourselves. A surprise on issues, and all these things will be added to you, might be pushing you take!