Hi Often the woman has been the main carer, a stay at home mum, cos that’s woman’s work innit. I do indeed agree that there is a lot of hypocrisy in the debate, from many sides. Divorced couples may encounter difficulties with schools and doctors surgeries for example. I advise women to recognise his triggers and steer clear of them like one does with the autistic. Considering the above, there seems to be a fundamental principle underpinning the actions of some of the family court that if a mother expresses an inappropriate belief, it is more likely to be treated as true, whereas if a man expresses an inappropriate belief, it is more likely to be treated as false. What next, I wonder? This must be corrected. If you are having no response to your requests to information, is it time to consider a court order regarding contact with the children? Consider family law reform before casting any votes for Circuit Judges. Is it because areas of work dealing with children are seen as low status? The current epidemic of fatherless will doubtless cause its own social problems. Ours doesn’t, and hasn’t for a long time. This almost certainly isn’t exhaustive. I was missing and abused for 12years, after which I was found and abducted again before being put out on the streets at 16 for having behavioral issues by the parent who claims to have agonized over me missing for so many years gone. But once I have reasonable evidence to doubt the good faith of the person I am taking with, I will exit the discussion without regret or hesitation. Use your heads. I have over 400 research papers and this number is still growing. One always admire those which act correctly. The Courts are not ‘pandering’ to Mum because of gender but because it has already been decided that she is to be the main -carer which translates into allowing her to call the tune and organise contacts as she wishes henceforth. I have stopped fighting and have no expectation that I will ever again see my child. For e.g. It is always happening especially in face- to -face meetings between victims and the CS and Police . This I think is shown in a review of the publicly available resources the courts and Cafcass themselves put online I agree with you Sarah, we cannot rid gender bias and general bias towards LA’s by professionals and it is my view that it will affect justice in 9ivil family courts with only one Judge. But when two parents separate, unless they are lucky enough (and rich) enough to both afford to live close to each other and the child’s school then I do think there are some very serious logistical difficulties that get in the way of ‘both’ parents playing the role of primary carer. Children should never be removed from natural family except in the most dire situations. But as ever, its more complicated that that. Didn’t he notice or care that his sexual partner lacked particular moral fibre or any scruples? He persisted in attacking me in court and used with CAFCASS, my mother’s difficulties whom suffered with SZ and had lost custody of me as a child to my father and stepmother. Better access to advice for litigants in person; recognition that mediation is not the cure all for situations where there is an imbalance of power. The lack of a bed is a damning inditement of what our society will tolerate. Courts are impartial environments and when I was submerged in them, I wanted the Judge and CAFCASS to feel my pain. Interference with visitation and blocking of access has certainly been my personal experience. Well I will never respect that system. They merely follow orders and succumb to Spanish practices, false ideology and illegitimate aims foisted upon them by their superiors. I am not criticising anyone personally but you are deluded if you still think that LA’S prioritise the needs /safety of children. I am under no obligation other than simple human courtesy. This is very new area of study. It’s a lovely day here.. Your remaining more general points about our culture and men’s general willingness to get stuck in and do nappies, etc rings true of course, although I am talking about those who want to – and I accept that separation can push people into wanting things they never used to want! In the Family Court, the barristers have other duties than making protests on the behalf of clients and compromise on fairness . Abuse is wrong. I hope I have made it abundantly clear here and in other places that I do not think stupidity, violence, manipulation or any other kind of bad behaviour is more a problem for men as opposed for women. Is the family courts bias? For so many reasons, this puts pressure on EVERYONE involved, parents and children alike. What I do deny is that it operates to any systemic or fundamental respect in the family court system – my evidence for this is that men AND women complain equally bitterly about their treatment in the family courts, so the seem to be letting everyone down. There’s always merit to readers in your responses, Helen. Evil mothers are rewarded for purgery. Although I imagine that you would not support such campaigns, very surprisingly, the government appears increasingly to support them. The atmosphere was tense but civil for approx 6 weeks. better recognised and better funded pathways to assessment and help for those cases which are becoming intractable. This is not right or fair to not only the fathers but more importantly the children. With your permission please let’s move on and try again. Lastly, I am currently researching early child emotional abuse and neglect and the consequent damage to brain structure and development. I set out below the ones which weigh on my mind and then some possible solutions or directions of travel. I was awarded 300 a month in child support and she was awarded 659 dollars a month in alimony, needless to say I never got a dime of the child support so I decided to withhold it from the allimony and then take her back to court to have the alimony adjusted to reflect the deduction. How is this not biased, in favour of A, both police and Family Court? With regard to children having two primary carers and that being ‘better’ – yes of course. Of course this is what happens regularly and not only when he has bashed her but when their is a mere allegation that he has. I was tricked by a lifelong friend into having a child. Do you agree it is a general complaint that there is bias shown towards professionals in that their evidence (even when flawed) is preferred to that of parents ? There is confusion amongst lawyers about the very pivotal point of bias. [I didn’t bother reading any more and have deleted this. I very much doubt you really know anything about it, because it is so new and also quite technical. Did he or she find you a danger to the child because of it? A was hardly at the home, popped in now and again. In Denmark for example, fathers are awarded custody closer to 40 percent of the time. I work with women in the CJS whom often have Local Authority involvement in the care of their children and that in itself is traumatic for Mothers. that is why I will continue to urge people to consider that the real solution to this may lie elsewhere . “FUll” Hearing scheduled for the Monday morning. Don’t you dare lecture me on ‘effort’ and what I do or don’t do. It also provides employment and income to a great many people and there is an awful lot of vested interest in continuing that – and there has been for hundreds of years. You say: “Quite a lot of men seem to see their relationship with their children through the lens of ‘their rights’ and are unwilling or unable to focus on the child’s experience” What happens to them? That sort of thing is common-place and it is the job of you lawyers to put an end to it. If men are so anxious about the impact of mothers working on children, then they will agree to support mothers to be housewives and in the event of relationship breakdown, pay maintenance and pension contributions for these women who sacrificed their earning capacity to bring up children, without the degree of bitching and moaning about it I often see. There is no incentive for the mother to cooperate and no sanction if she does not. the issue of fathers who walk away is every bit as painful and difficult as the issue of the mothers who deliberately sabotage a loving father’s relationship with a child. If anything, the court should surely compensate for that? I didn’t see the merit of responding to this either. So the court should promote instead of hinder the establishment of this bond for both, and maintain it when it is already there. The Judge can also make contact decisions proportionate to the facts not falsehoods. Prof. Starr leaves that question to policymakers, but she does note that the solution “is not necessarily to lock up a lot more women, but perhaps to reconsider the decision-making criteria that are applied to men. It is sobering to reflect that my life and possibly that of my son may have been ruined by my brief marriage. DATA. Remarkably, I did not personally need that, but I am sure that someone will appreciate your pains. I agree that our natural inclinations can differ and change over time and we should all be given help and support to develop. We are all guilty of unwittingly stereotyping, including the professionals that ought not to. The courts show zero interest in the fact that my ex wife flatly refuses me all contact with the child and even refuses to pass on messages or gifts. I was the custodial parent after my divorce. Do you agree that in a family court that on the b of p it is more likely the professionals are right? I didn’t know about the case that you mentioned – I’ll read about it. The idea that family courts are biased against men is a dangerous fallacy. This does not in anyway represent ANY fathers I have ever met. Find me a custodial mother who was given the same conditions in her divorce and I’ll stop believing in female privilege in divorce courts. It has become an instrument to unjustly enrich ex-wives and rip apart families in the most clumsy fashion. On the subject of zero tolerance, lawyers should accept reality and recognise that it does not work in normal ( non-CP professional) human relationships. None of us deny , however, that at least an element of bias must exist in the Family Court especially against the male gender when most of the professionals involved including the Judge perhaps are female. referring to the ‘blood on their hands’ comment. This increases the gross amount of child support collected, which then increases the kickbacks that states receive for collecting “child support”. Surely the default should be “normal” and ongoing contact, whatever that may be as determined by the court? I very much doubt you really know anything about it, because it is so new and also quite technical. However, it is totally unacceptable in serious cases such as the liquidation of families and taking children for adoption, transportation to Australia etc.etc. Anyway, give me a few days and I’ll provide you with some references. Although you give some reasons why this is hard for the court to prevent, this nevertheless amounts to bias. I could always do something else if I wanted to. From my experience, professionals really do not understand the manipulation and acting ability of the controlling partner whether male or female. Is it not a mutual creation? Sadly, selfishness and stupidity are common place to both men and women. I am sure you are well aware that both genders are susceptible to manipulation and neither should be excused from taking responsibility. It is the task of the Judiciary to lay down their interpretation of the Law including human rights law and ORDER the authorities to comply regardless of cost. But what would you have the court do? These judges decide, time and time again, when a woman raises the allegation of sexual abuse in a custody dispute, that it is she who will lose her children forever. There are bad men, there is also many bad women and any parent, of any gender, making false allegations and perpetrating Parental Alienation is a child abuser. The issue of real or perceived bias sparked some interesting debate at the conference and later, via Twitter. The situation is truly unjust and inequitable. 3 hearings in all the last 2 of which my spouse did not attend. This is not merely a problem when dealing with an ex wife but also in the UK at least the family justice system is very female heavy (apart from judges). It is my clear belief, after many years as a woman and parent, that our society does not value activities around child care. It took me a long time to actually realise what was happening as I was so enmeshed in the relationship. But I do continue to question what ‘system’ could ever deal fully and properly with these difficulties of raw human pain. Do I think the courts are biased? In cases of d.v. The International Court of Justice (ICJ) consists of fifteen permanent judges, each of whom shall come from a different State. DATA. court buildings are poorly designed and don’t help parents talk to one another at court or feel comfortable in the court room; tensions remain high, The government has removed legal aid from private law cases and created a situation where mothers are encouraged to make allegations of violence against fathers to secure funding. DATA. Dont YOU DARE make this about ‘lawyers’. . The problem is – as I keep saying – is that these are not legal problems but problems of the pain and suffering caused by the breakdown of intimate relationships which so often plunge both or one half of that relationship into financial hardship. It’s not easy to be constantly in pain for the best part of ten years and sometimes I’m guilty of showing my very worst side. This is about people acting as rational agents in their own lives and taking responsibility for their own choices. In accordance with the ICJ Statute, judges, either permanent or ad hoc, shall exercise their powers impartially.But in reality, can this expectation be achieved? The bias exists within the system and it means inevitably that many hearings are not fair ones. I am interested in your experiences and assertions of the way in which men are dis-interested in hands on parenting effectively leaving the difficult jobs to women. It is obviously the ‘will of the people’ that children are left to kill themselves because TIME AND TIME AGAIN they VOTE FOR THE POLITICIANS WHO CUT SERVICES. We can’t ‘enforce’ Article 3 or Article 8 rights out of thin air. ” Isn’t this what happens every time a judge believes allegations of violence from a mother and makes a non-mol order or fails to enforce a “contact” order without any investigation? ? Is the family court deliberately, systemically biased against men? The low court standards are to blame for a lot but by taking the case to private law in the first place, i suppose it can be said that you were a willing participant. Psychatric places were available all the time. It is possible in the majority of cases if strong action is taken and effective strategies employed by the authorities. Our children’s problems are more mundane sadly. Human -beings do err and offend etc. b) there be three judges hearing each case . The Ontario Family Law Podcast explores what influences #judges. Maybe you need to look deep into your own psyche and ask yourself why you cannot. If you can’t make a point without insulting someone, I doubt you have much of a point to make. I don’t agree there is a ‘negative bias’ towards males but I do think the preponderance of female personnel in the system can put men at a disadvantage because women tend to react differently to what men may see as ‘just letting off steam’ for eg. Men dont win, I wasnt able to get wic because that’s for women only, I dont qualify for foodstamps because the alimony is still counted as part of my income and not my ex’s, the most affordable health care I can find for my daughter and I is just under 500 dollars a month and the state wont adjust my child support payments because my ex still doesnt have a job and again the allimony is counted as my spendavle income and not hers. The law too should be seen to strive to implement what the man and woman on the Clapham omnibus believes – namely that a child should as much as possible have an engaged (and safe) relationship with both parents. I hope he’s right. Then this parent has to pay another 215 for the application to court. What are the actual facts? is more access to effective counselling/therapy and contact centres for facilitated/supervised contact or help with handovers. That just would not be allowed! The President of the Family Division urged her to raise this with the ‘top brass’. Urgent appeals in cases where the court orders removal of a child. Why the anti-fahter bias in most courts? As someone who has worked much of my time at the coalface in child protection over the past 30 years, I strongly challenge the core bias that a mother is the automatically better parent for children in most cases. If she doesn’t have a supportive residential placement to go to – she will kill herself. I am not apologising. They either grow up, get out of the relationship or they go to prison. 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